Mama Said There’ll Be Days Like This

Okay, now that the day is almost over, here is what my day looked like:

Around 5:30am Angelina’s Dexcom alarmed high (over 250mg/dL) after being a steady line at around 130mg/dL since the night before. I hit the snooze in a semi-concious state and fell back asleep. I woke up about an hour later in a panic as I realized that I had snoozed a high bg and didn’t get up to investigate. So, at 6:45am I got up and at that point Dexcom was saying 366 mg/dL. I went to check on Angelina and she was not in her bed. She was awake on the sofa and acting like she was hiding something under her blanket. I pulled the blanket back to find her lying on my ipad, which had had a full battery when I went to bed adn now was at 6%. She apparently had gotten out of bed shortly after David and I went to bed around 11pm and had stayed up the entire night playing on my ipad. Around 5am she decided to eat muffins and not give herself any insulin for it. By 6:45am when I checked on her her meter blood sugar was 416 and she was insistent that she did not eat or drink anything, but was surrounded by muffin crumbs and an empty juice glass and a carton of juice that was half full the night before was sitting empty on the kitchen table. (Fortunately it was low carb juice, but half the carton was still probably about 20-30 carbs, certainly an amount that was worthy of needing insulin.

I yelled at her for lying to me about food and also about getting crumbs ground into our brand new sofa. This woke David up and he came out to speak with Angelina while I cooled down. He and Angelina talked until it was time for her to get ready for school and she left around 8am. Blood sugar at that point was down to 350 and falling quickly.

After she left David and I got ready for her 504 meeting at school and I had a sort of breakdown because I was going into that meeting to convince them that she is responsible with her diabetes, despite other areas where she does not always show responsibility and that she is perfectly capable of being mostly independent in her diabetes self-care during the day as far as checking her blood sugar when necessary and taking steps to correct lows or seek nurse supervision for giving insulin doses for high blood sugars or when she eats or drinks things with carbs in them. Clearly, last night/this morning she was not showing that responsible side that I was advocating for.

However, it became mostly a non-issue and aside from one fundamental disagreement, which was quickly corrected and remedied, the meeting went relatively smoothly and came out mostly in favor of the accommodations that we felt necessary for Angelina to get the best public education she can, while still not being so different as to be alienated from her peers. We are working very hard to balance diabetes care with “life” and maintain a semblance of normalcy without letting diabetes rule every aspect. The school of course mostly considers their liability if something were to happen to her and doesn’t factor in how their “standard protocols” effect her emotionally, and thus behaviorally and socially, which are all very important parts that also need to be managed along side the physical aspects of living with diabetes and being a student.

After the meeting I had some quiet time and had a little cry. I then headed to my therapist’s appointment, which couldn’t have been timed better. By the time I got to my appointment I was in a much better place, emotionally speaking, and I had a great conversation with my therapist about the happenings of the day.

I went home to relax and rest, stopping on the way to pick up some froyo.  Around 2:30 David called me to tell me that a warehouse down the street from his work was selling a bunch of patio furniture at 90%ish off and did I want some chaise lounges for the patio?  I had until 3pm to come with cash and the truck and his work is a minimum 20 minutes drive away from home.  I miraculously made it there before 3 and we loaded the truck up with 4 new chaise lounges and a new patio coffee table.  All for the bargain price of $80.  This is all stuff that was stored to be sold at Home Depot from previous years and has since been discontinued and was never sold, thus the warehouse sale at deeply discounted prices.

After we got home we decided to go to Home Depot and check for cushions/covers for 2 of the chairs since they are metal slatted ones (the other two are the mesh style).  No luck finding anything since it is now October and the seasonal section of every store is now filled with fireplaces and space heaters, not patio furniture and accessories.

We came home, ate dinner, and had an uncomfortable conversation with Angelina about being up all night playing on my ipad and not sleeping and what the consequences of her actions were.  She had a bit of a “shut down” during the conversation and seemed to have fallen asleep.  David and I took that time to put the furniture together outside and sat out in the patio for a bit.  Angelina joined us until we all got chilly from the fog that had rolled in after the sun had set.

And here I sit, typing about my day.  I feel… peaceful. Despite the turmoil, ups and downs of the day, I feel at peace with how everything turned out.  I feel like diabetes was only a part of our day, and not the center even though the day started out in a way that could have been all about it.  The high blood sugar was a nuisance, only because there was no reason for it and it interrupted my sleep.  But, it was a “correct and move on” moment.  The 504 meeting made me feel anxious, but in the end I was able to calmly and firmly assert myself on Angelina’s behalf and I left feeling like I won an Olympic gold medal.  I didn’t leave flustered, frustrated or angry.  I felt empowered and proud of myself for being articulate and keeping things together and speaking in a way that said I wasn’t taking no for an answer, without coming off as a crazy, overzealous and overprotective parent.

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