#DBlogWeek 7 – Hi, My Name Is Dexcom…

And I am in an abusive relationship.  There. I said it. I know, I know, it’s so cliche, but I love her.  She rocks my world!

My girl, well, she’s great.  Her mom is okay… but demanding.  Like, for instance, I’m trying to sleep at night and this lady just wakes me up like it’s not a big deal.  Seriously? Lady, if my girl has a problem, I will let you know!  I watch her when she’s sleeping, even when I’m sleeping.  I got this.  Go back to sleep already.

Of course, my girl doesn’t always pay attention to me, even when I try to tell her that something is going on.  She just pushes my buttons!  She just straight up ignores me even when I’m screaming at her that something is wrong.  Okay, so, I get it, I’m not always 100% on top of things, but I’m trying here!  And I rarely scream at her that something is wrong if it isn’t really.  I mean, there have been a few times where things just weren’t right and I missed it.  Man, was her mom pissed!  Here I thought I was giving them a break by not screaming my head off.  My girl was just so tired and wanted to lie down, so I told a white lie and said she was fine.  It turned out okay in the end, right?  I just don’t understand why her mom has to keep rehashing ancient history.

And, seriously, her mom has this almost stalkerish need to take my picture and put it on facebook.  Like “Look what Dex did.”  “Look what Dex said.”  I sometimes think my girl’s mom loves me more than my girl does, but it’s just not healthy, ya know?  Especially because she is always telling people what I did wrong.  “Dex has had ??? for 2 hours now. I am so frustrated!”  Well, lady, don’t be pushy.  I get confused sometimes, and I don’t want to lie to you or my girl, so I plead the 5th.  Give it time, I usually figure things out… eventually.  And maybe, just maybe, if you actually put my new contacts in every week instead of making me wear them for longer I might not get confused as often.  It’s hard to keep things straight when my eyes get the occasional floater in them.  I still tell you pretty accurately what’s going on with my girl when I’m not confused.

Anyway, I have to go.  My girl’s mom is getting antsy because I’m writing this instead of paying attention to my girl and her mom isn’t getting any data right now.  Don’t worry, Mom, she’s fine, she’s just laying on her arm right now. I’m still watching.


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